Ok. Here's the deal and you might not like me much after you read this. If you don't, then good, cuz I don't want to help you anyway.
Let's go back in the time machine: The year is 1981 and millenials are beginning to land on the planet. In a short 20-year span, the workforce will begin to shift in the most *unique* ways.
Now, don't get me wrong -- I love many a millenial, but I gotta tell you, the talk is real: They are a nightmare in the workplace. (Frankly, millenials should come to all interviews with their helicopter parents so we can tell them exactly where they went wrong, but that's a deeper discussion.)
So, here's a real story: A few years back, I hired an eager, young production assistant -- in entertainment, a PA's job is to do all the things at the bottom rung of any business- going on runs, mailing stuff, cleaning up after a lunch meeting, filing papers, and whatever-the-hell-else we ask you to do. The goal is to get your foot in the door, work your ass off, show what you're made of and move up the ranks. We were all at least proverbial PA's at one point.
This particular PA rocked multiple interviews to get the gig. (Let's face it -- it's hard to get into TV and he did it! We were excited to have him.) But DAY ONE, some different guy showed up at work. He looked just like the other guy, but this one had attitude and not an ounce of initiative. Over the course of a few months and after several conversations about his poor performance, I finally brought him to ask (incredulously) why he didn't clean up after that day's lunch meeting.
His reply, and I'm NOT shitting you, was:
"I didn't know I had to wipe their asses. They're all adults. They can do it themselves."
Did I mention he was totally chill and kicked back in a chair next to my desk with his immediate boss sitting on the other side of him?
So here's the deal: IF YOU WERE BORN AFTER 1981, PLEASE TAKE THE FOLLOWING QUIZ. If you answer YES to any ONE question, never darken my doorstep or any doorstep of anyone I know or anyone who is within 62 degrees of separation from me on LINKEDIN.
#1: Do I believe I am THE SHIT?
#2: Am I a college graduate who believes I deserve to be in management within 1 year of exiting my fancy school?
#3: Do I believe that I have EARNED the RIGHT to higher pay and a bigger title after having performed AVERAGELY on my job for 4 months or less?
#4: Do I believe that I have EARNED the right to higher pay and a bigger title after having performed ABOMINABLY on my job for the past year or more?
#5: Do I believe that I am better than other people because I could Google my way through college and you couldn't?
Again, if you answered YES to any ONE of the above questions, please go away. For the roughly 7% of you who answered NO, then welcome to The Reluctant Genius. You get to move ahead. It’s actually VERY simple and I promise you’ll be successful.
The KEY is for you to use the 93% of idiots who answered YES to the above questions as your BASELINE.
Here's how you use THE ENTITLED BLOWHARDS as your baseline for GREATNESS when you go out to snag that great gig.
You are simply going to RISE ABOVE your competition by extolling the fact that you KNOW many of the young people out there feel ENTITLED to big titles and big salaries, but that you’re UNIQUE because you know that these jobs take HARD
WORK and TIME and that you’re willing to go THE EXTRA MILE to EARN your place in the company and with this team. You KNOW that you won’t be the Executive Producer in a year, the Brand Manager in 6-months, or the VP of Sales in 2 years. You plan to let your ACTIONS speak louder than your BRAVADO.
I swear to God, if you say this to someone over 39-years-old, they’ll leap up and French kiss you right on the spot. Don’t sue them. It’s not sexual. It’s just that they won’t believe you’re one of that 7% who believe they have to actually WORK and EXCEL at their job to get ahead!
This Generation E is a well-known phenomenon in all circles of management. They don’t fool us, they just annoy us and we’re looking FOR YOU MR. OR MS. 7%! Make yourself known! Come out of the bushes! Reach out and let us know you’re alive! Give us a secret handshake, a wink, a nod, something! We’ve been looking for you for some time and we’re ready to hire you!
It also helps if you're ok wiping people's asses. Kidding! I'm just kidding! Jeez.